We are not alone

It has become important for me not to run more from myself. This will only widen the gap and will take much to come back, not to say, with added regrets and the time. I have to accept my vulnerabilities, my flaws. I must let go of my insecurities, I must accept myself as I am. I must uphold myself. I must show confidence in myself. I must fight with my negative thoughts which is hollowing me out. I have to be happy. I have to be enjoyable. I should feel happy. I must smile wide. I have to find reason and ground in this fast-changing life. Yes, I think too much, I feel insecure, I doubt my own actions and continuously ponder on them. I often think I am left out. I think I have lost the last train. I think that I have no purpose, nothing to accomplish in life, that somewhere, sometime, someday, I committed heinous mistakes and I am just paying off. I often end up finding solidarity in music. It is one of the things in the universe that does not discriminate with me and befriends me the way I am, the way I think, the way I act, the way I gaze & daydream and stop being in present. It gives me strength and helps me in healing fast. It takes me back to the present. It tells me to acknowledge how wonderfully and vividly I feel. It is one thing after my mother which makes me feel that I am different and I am special. I like to feel special so that I could digest my negative thoughts. I have to deal with them day in and day out and I write this to inform someone similar to me, who keeps on doubting on his/her capabilities, who keeps on abusing herself/himself, for the decisions you took without much consultations, just out of blue, after all these vagaries of life, I want to tell them that life is not bad after all, and underneath its pain giving teeth, it even accommodates, as in some lucid dreams, fresh air, through rain, red-bluish sky and through so many other little things and ways that we tend to ignore. It makes us who we are. It wants us to be this way and play a significant role in the way we often feel left out. I say, trust it. I say, respect it. I say you are not alone. I say we are not alone. Let's make the best out of it. This time when you go to sleep, pat yourself. You are indeed special.