Solitary Confinement

The murderer is so guilty of his crime, he doesn't even want to have the sheer amount of light peeking through the small jetty (chhajja) of the cell. He is given solitary confinement for the first few years. In this rat cell, he couldn't stand straight or stretch his body fully. The air is retarded. The walls are colorless. The light is timid. No human shadow lingers nearby. During the daytime, the cell is hot like an oven. It's difficult when a butterfly or a cockroach enters the cell. For the most time, there is a constant vacuuming sound, even the sighs of the earth are not heard.

He would sit in various postures, at times standing in different corners of the cell, staring at the wall, drumming it, punching it, scratching it. His sleep has faded away. He sleeps more infrequently, never knowing what time is it, what day is it? Wondering whether is it a bad dream, is he really him, is this a reality, he would bang his head against the wall. It was all real. This is his new life, rolling past before him, draining in to a sea of uncertainty, restlessness and fear.

He feels as if he deserves it, but, over time, it's becoming intolerable. He has suffered. He has scratches all over his body. A long beard is grown on his tired face. He has not taken a bath for days. It smells of piss around him.

In contrast to the initial days, now he asks for the count of days to whoever comes to assist him and give food to him and other supplies. He never dared ask for mercy, deep inside he is dangerously regretful. He had taken a life. He must return it with one of his own as per the laws of the land and the morals of the tribe. He was charged with murder. He killed someone he dearly loved. That's even more heinous. It's betrayal, but not intentional. It happened fast and not much time is given for the understanding. He was confused and charged on the explicit grounds.

Over time, overcoming his apathy, his pains, his ailments, his loneliness, he has become silent, calmer and out of expectations. It is as if he has learned something. He constantly talks to himself in his mind. He thinks of his past life and the people that he has met. He would laugh at times to which the jail authorities would tremble. He would sing.

Lately, he has stopped count of his days. It is as if he has become a part of the brick, steel, mortar and the darkness around him. The rainy days had a healing effect on him. The pours falling on the walls and floors were musical. At least he had something to listen to. His postures would remain unchanged for hours. He has realized that no one could confine him. He was telling this to an officer that we are all moving in space... The idea strung him so strong that mentally he was instantly set free and no longer feels confined. He is constantly moving in the universe. For god's sake, he is a traveler! He is a free man! 

After few years, to the half of the solitary confinement, his term was called off. He was set free. The charges against him proved false. The autopsy report that came out revealed a different cause for the death. Coming out of jail, he was as normal as he can be. He was received by society without disgrace is albeit a hard thing to say. These are indeed miracle times. Huh.

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